It's been a few weeks since the new Star Wars movie hit the streets, and already it's falling off the horizon. It would be nearly impossible to match the 52+ week run of the first Star Wars, but I would think that Lucas could do better than a five week window. Lucas made some seriously wrong turns with the franchise, starting with Jedi and continuing with the re-release and subsequent prequels.
Let's start with the beginning of the end --
Star Wars, Episode VI, Return of the Jedi -- There is little that is wrong with this movie and much that is right. The Emperor is Evil, Darth Vader shows some humanity (although it's hard to tell through black plastic eyes), and the good guys win. What is wrong is the Ewoks, and Sy Snootles and Salacious Crumb were too... stupid. It was like the Muppets had invaded and taken over. Not good. Not good at all. The Ewoks were just plain silly. Supposedly, the planet was to be the planet of the Wookies, but I suppose Lucas had two distinct problems there -- #1, finding hundreds of six foot five actors, and #2, no one really beleives that the Empire would take on a bunch of pissed off Wookies. So we get Planet of the Teddy Bears instead. FWIW, I did like the use of scout walkers in battle in the forest on Endor.
Then came the re-releases, and in general, they didn't change too much, except for the Star Wars Episode IV release. The Mos Eisley spaceport scenes were enhanced, to show some really useless crap. The tall brachiosaurs were just plain silly. And then they have a throw away scene where one of the big things throws its rider after a speeder nearly collides with the beast (on a relatively empty street -- I assume the driver had just come from the Cantina). The whole thing reeked of "because I can".
At least they rolled in the scene with Jabba and Han, and did a good job there.
Empire and Jedi both had additional changes, but they were much subtler, so I don't have any additional complaints.
Phantom Menace continued the downward trend. Jar Jar Binks was the lowest point. Any time you have a creature put in just for the pratfall, you've made a grave error. The whole movie reeked of targeting an eight year old audience. Add in the "Midichlorians", taking the Force from literally the power of the Universe to the power of the bacteria. Does that make the Dark Side what happens when I don't clean the toilet for a year. It's dark, it's powerful, and it's definitely full of little cohabitating life forms.
I suppose Lucas wanted an objective standard by which to measure a person's capabilities with the Force, so that when the Jedi Council was presented with the information it would have greater impact. Whatever. Have them invent a Forcemeter, or some exercise that would make the strength of the applicant apparent. Otherwise, Darth Sidious, aka Palpatine, and any other Dark Side users, would just be using the little Midichlorian detectors to wander around and look for good potential apprentices. Maybe they are...
I suppose the extended, way too long Pod race was supposed to show Anakin's capabilities with the Force, just as the Death Star sequence showed the capabilities of Luke Skywalker.
Attack of the Clones showed a reversal of the trend. FINALLY!!! Jar Jar was muted, and other than his Island patois, generally reasonably behaved. No tripping over his own feet or getting his tongue tangled in things. Not too bright, and easily manipulated, but at least he's not tripping over Padme's skirt and ripping off Palpatine's gowns.
Anakin seemed appropriately impatient, if a little plastic, and Padme slowly went from Senator to Real Woman over the course of the movie. Obi-wan seemed to be on his game, although his lines were somewhat unrealistic.
George, please get all the way back on track. You're closer to the original in Clones than you were in Phantom Menace, but you're not quite all the way.
posted by Josh at
6/20/2002 03:00:00 PM
